Archive for the ‘food boner’ Category

Kansan Cuisine

February 12, 2010

So not to get all Stephen Shore on you folks but I really have to share with you my lunch from a little diner in downtown Emporia, Kansas. I should of known what I was getting myself into by the awesome menu cover:

But really, I had no idea that the hot beef sandwich, or really any thing at all, could possibly involve this much gravy. Just to break down what we have here, this is a white bread sandwich filled with hot beef, as promised, and then smothered in gravy, with a side of mashed potatoes and of course, some more gravy. Also, I’m sure you are already well aware, but there is a ton of bacon in those green beans and the cake came with the meal. All that was missing was a deep fried component to make this lunch any more unhealthy. Fortunately my friend sitting across from me had some french fries.

Full disclosure: I ate the shit out of this and it was delicious.

Je veux ton cookie

January 21, 2010

Ya’ll this is a serious movement

via

Unleashing the beast

November 29, 2009

just back in from the city of roses, and holy smokes! those cats can make a meal.  but the pinnacle of my left coast culinary adventure was executed by the magnificent naomi pomeroy and mika paredes of beast. i then proceeded to spend half my paycheck on food (cooking my own beast inspired thanksgiving) and it was worth every penny.

their masthead is just like the greeting at the door; a weary, hard-earned smile presenting you flowers along with their mouth-watering grizzly bone (rrrrrrrrrrrrr !!!)

all *beautiful photos via Alicia J. Rose

Now warning: I will try my best to explain what happened at Beast, but this restaurant gave me a boner of such epic proportions that I’m not sure I can possibly do it justice.  I will try….

Their website explains that the name Beast implies:

i hear you ladies, i heeeear YOU!

We are frank in our appreciation of meat.

they continue….

Our food is simple, refined, and- dare we say- feminine.

We let our moods and our sensual appreciation of what the fields, forests and oceans are yielding dictate our weekly menus.

Hot tip: this is clearly not my photo (as you’ll see below) and they change the menu every week, but there is a FOIE-GRAS BON-BON with a SAUTERNES GELEÉ on that plate, aka the most amazing bite you’ll ever taste in your life. ever. and then i definitely see steak tartare and a perfectly placed quail egg on toast sitting there, too. Whah? Whah? I know.

We are inspired by French Grandmothers, (bisous!)

but our days are spent prepping to the sounds of our favorite rock-n-roll bands

*see, my photos start here. the lighting was low and the flash was rude, forgive me.

( Timeout: We need to address the music. Because I tried to get the playlist and was told their playlist changes all the time and is whatever these goddesses feel like playing. in other words, i didn’t get it. but good god i sure would love to. our djs mastered a tempo for both preparing and enjoying the menu. it was orchestrated beautifully.

my kitchen view of naomi doing her thang..... and oops, who's that? holler portland, nice dining with you!

I was overwhelmed, enjoying every tiny morsel entering my mouth, watching them prepare each bite, while trying to laugh at and ponder the chalked quotes and recipes written all over the wall, as rock harmony filled the room, that i’ve completely blacked out on what any of the actual songs were.

Seriously guys, music danced around the meal, leading you to crescendo into each bite, of all. six. courses. are you comprehending the magnitude of this?

Then, just when you thought things might get too intense, they softened the tone, soothing you (with a clot de l’oum st. bart vielles vignes cotes du roussillon- 2005 so yummy!!) into their meaty magnificence.

and that was only half way through.

Then came the arugula, shaved persimmon, soft goat cheese, fried almonds and they started to rock out again sending you peaking into rolling mountains of foodgasm…

cheese, shortbread, perfect honey, champagne poached apricot…..chocolate custard tarts with huckleberry sauce.  oh, oh, oohhhhhhh huckleberry sauce. with pistachios and whipped cream

over and over and over again. phew.

srsly. take a moment. have a cigarette, and think about it.  foodgasms. to music. with art. at a community table. that’s pretty freakin awesome.  dc are you listening?? more of this, please)

but that’s not even it.  they continue…

we work just like we would in our home kitchens, and as our guests- we hope you can tell, and that our ease translates to your comfort and enjoyment.

Well, let me tell you ladies: yes, yes, yes, yes, yesssssss, yessssssssss, YEEEEESSSSSS! I had no idea Portland could bring it so hard, thank you.

and just when you think it’s done……

they even have Real Talk in the bathroom!

WOW ladies, just wow.

gawd. holler.

It’s cheese ball season, y’all!

November 28, 2009

The holiday season is nigh! This year I will be getting in touch with my Midwest diva roots and highlighting a few of my favorite regional, seasonal culinary delights. Today, the appetizer to end all appetizers, the alpha and the omega for those of us who grew up in states adjacent to Wisconsin: the cheese ball.

Here is one of my family’s beloved cheese ball recipes, which originated with my grandma’s former neighbor, Elda Cullen of  Fort Madison, Iowa.

ELDA CULLEN DIP*

4 – 8 oz. pkgs. cream cheese – softened at room temperature to mix with ease
1/4 cup chopped green pepper
1 – 8 oz. can crushed pineapple – drained
1 T. dried onion
1 tsp. garlic salt
1 tsp. Accent

Combine all ingredients and roll in chopped pecans. Get out your best holiday cheese-spreader set, and serve this baby with Triscuits.

No, that is not a typo. This cheese ball requires 4 packages of cream cheese. Mmmmmmmmm.

*Not actually pictured above.

Kale boner

November 6, 2009

That’s right! I am going the full Martha and instaboning recipes now. I made this delicious meal last night:

Gemelli with Kale, Sage and Potatoes

Ingredients:
1 bunch kale
2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
2 yukon gold potatoes, peeled and cut_into 1-inch (2.5 cm) cubes
1/3 cup chopped pancetta (or Smart Bacon, for the veggie-inclined)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 an onion, chopped
chopped fresh sage
salt
hot pepper flakes
10 oz gemelli or fusilli pasta
1 cup sodium-reduced chicken (or veggie) stock
1 cup grated fontina or gouda cheese
2 tsp lemon juice

Preparation:
Saute garlic and onion in EVOO until onion is translucent. Toss in some chopped sage and a dash of red pepper flakes. Trim off tough stems and ribs from kale and tear it into smaller pieces, then add to pan. Cover and cook for a few minutes. Then add 1 cup stock, cook until almost all of the liquid is gone. Remove from heat.

In nonstick skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat; saute potatoes until golden brown and cooked through. (You can also brown the potatoes in the oven, if you’re running out of stovetop space.) If you’re using Smart Bacon, fry it up in a small skillet, then tear it up into small pieces.

Meanwhile, in large pot of boiling salted water, cook pasta until tender but firm. Drain and return to pot. Stir in kale mixture, potatoes, pancetta (or pancetta-substitute), cheese, a bit more sage, and lemon juice. Heat through, tossing to coat. Top off with red pepper flakes and salt, as needed.

This was super effing good. I suppose any recipe from something called The Canadian Living Test Kitchen is bound to be awesome, though. (I modified it a bit.)